A Middle Eastern Girl On Her OwnOn September 28, 2017 by Yara
So, what’s living alone like?
A question every Middle Eastern girl only dreams to know the answer herself.
Well, I was lucky enough to space out for a while. I moved out of my family’s wings for four years. I only got to see them on the weekends, when it wasn’t exams period or I didn’t have anything important to work on. Two of these years were with my close to perfect – as I always refer to her – flatmate and best friend and two other years were entirely on my own.
I cannot say that there weren’t rare moments when you wish your parents were around. Times when:
- You are sick
- You have to buy groceries on a short budget and NO, you can’t spoil yourself!
- You return home late/tired and your only choice is to cook for yourself if hungry.
- guess what, you only cook what’s left out of the fridge; it’s the end of the month and you are broke so no takeaways.
- When your car breaks down and you have to sort yourself out; your family aren’t close enough to help you out.
But even so, those hardships made you feel a great deal of freedom and practicality! If I were told, “Yara, you going to live in the other side of the world, on a stricter budget, all on your own.” I will do it over and over and over again.
Those four years, I witnessed myself transform. This naïve girl who is high on daddy-dependence and all spoiled, irresponsible, emotional and weak, blossomed into a very strong, independent, insightful, intellect, ambitious and rebellious girl. No doubt, I am still daddy and mommy’s little girl; it’s never going to change, they will always love me the same way and so will I. But, I am no longer reliant on them; I am dependent and reliant on myself and for myself. No-one could have imagined me flourish and transit from what I was to what I am now.
You see, that is what the moving out makes you do…TAKE THE LEAP. Your world was being taken care of by your family and part of it will always be; but then, they hand it to you and you will rock it!
Evidentially, there are tiny moments, yet incredible, that might seem like perks of living alone:
- Try the crazy recipes you wanted to try at anytime
- Decorate and organize your place the way you want it to be
- No-one is sharing your TV remote; the screen is all yours
- No worries if someone caught you revising mental scenarios (Come on, we all do it!)
- You do not have to be ashamed of your ugly voice and you can sing as loud as you want, if your neighbour can’t hear you
- Play your music around the place at the loudest beat
- Leave the bathroom door open when… err… showering…
- Dancing dramatically around your place wearing panties
- Party and barbecue with your friends whenever you want as much as you want
- You learn multitasking, productivity and time-efficiency skills, for example: I would wake up at 7, shower, pick up an outfit, dress-up and have my breakfast, do my dishes, find a parking which takes most of the time and print my papers and then be at the lecture room at 7:30 precisely. Astonishing, yeah?!
- Last and not least: self-discipline and time management. Enough to get you distinctions at your courses.
Well, I can keep counting down. But the real moments weren’t these. It is the life. The next, are what made that life so luxurious and precious.
People must have heard of the phrase, “Dolce Far Niente,” from the movie: Eat, Pray, Love. This phrase means, “the sweetness of doing nothing.” It only took me four years at university, all by myself, to understand what that means.
It is all about me time. Enjoying a time of relaxation and being tempted by my own mind, heart and soul. Waking up at early mornings to put some relaxing music on as I shower and feel the balmy fog everywhere, thereafter. Practicing aromatherapy for instance; my favourite was lavender oil burned by candle diffuser that rummaged its mystical scent around my place. That smoke that pierces the soul with some otherworldliness as I meditate in my empty, noiseless, sphered place.
I liked having mountains of books stacked everywhere around me on the floor. I could read so much for days and be lost in their enchanting symphonies. I loved how I had all the time to organize and schedule with no pressure or disturbance.
I loved treating myself with a very good Italian or French meal at the end of the day and eating a well-made dessert while drinking my un-wined wine, knowing that I have the pleasure to leisurely marvel at every taste and feel the warmth and sweetness melt in my mouth.
Needn’t to care about my messy hair or mismatched socks. It’s the beauty of it when you are under your blanket and holding your hot drink and staring at the window aside, looking afar at the stars and wondering how incandescent they are, like you are at that moment.
Needn’t commitments or responsibilities shoved by other bonded members, you are only committed to yourself; and if devout, to God to.
I had the habit of taking a book and leaving to the dam that was only three minutes’ drive away. I would lay a blanket on the green round platform in the middle of the dam, put on my headphones, read a book and when I finish reading, I would stare at the view. Then when it is close to leave, I would speak to God, tell Him of all the things I wish I could speak of, all the weird things; inscrutable thoughts and feelings and I would laugh and make promises to Him. It was magical that time.
I loved the connections I made and the relationships I have rooted. I would go to certain cafés, I am known at, every day and have my known order come to me. That is while I completely immerse myself in my studies and researches. It is amazing how they created that room for me.
Those were the most treasurable time you could have. My own place was my paradise, every piece of it was created and added by me. I am everything that resembled that place. No-one’s burden, no expectations and obligations except toward yourself which didn’t feel like a burden at all. Free-minded and free-spirited you are. You have such peace and pleasure within yourself, you become so calm. Your conscience is clear, satisfying and rewarding. That is worth millions and millions over. It is like, that life gives you a chance to redeem yourself and take all the ugliness, tears, remorse and anguish out of your body. It’s the best spiritual cleansing.
The only disadvantage it creates is that you will never be able to adjust yourself to living with humans again. Optimally, I believe it’s a privilege and honour that I cannot thank my parents enough for. To experience and learn as much about my own self. To meditate my mind, enrich my soul and purify my heart. It is only a privilege to inspire yourself.